Trailer WATCH! 00001

Have you seen the teaser trailer for James Cameron's Avatar yet? Check it out here, exclusive on Apple Trailers. Ooh, exclusive. Must be good, right? I'unno, what do you think?

My first impressions are the same as my first impressions toward Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace, only with a decade of sci-fi CGI schlockfest cynicism slopped on top of them. On second viewing, the quality of the effects shines through (now that you can actually kind of tell what the hell is going on). Avatar is apparently a movie about blue cat people who fight giant forest creatures and launch assaults on mountain fortresses as assisted by armed human Starship Trooper gunships. I'm surprised that Cameron chose another formulaic topic for his latest movie, but what can you say, the guy loves cat people.

Seriously though, is this what anyone expected? After re-watching a few of the effects shots, I'm already convinced the movie will look incredible in 3-D, so that's enough to guarantee my ticket price. That is, unless the movie is full of long boring dialog sequences inside the Galactic Senate.

TRAILER WATCH #1 of TEN THOUSAND

The Film: Legion

The Premise: Angels fight Dennis Quaid for the coveted "Most Ridiculous Premise" Oscar.



First Reaction: This is the stupidest goddamn thing I have ever seen in my life.

Second Look: It's like a b-movie script got funded, big time. As if Dennis Quaid hasn't squandered his credibility enough with this month's GI JOE he's practically defecating on the dregs of it here. God is evil and is sending angels to kill all humans. Humans use guns to stop them. I guess Sam Raimi could have made it work...

Release Date: January 2nd, 2010


The Film: The Fantastic Mr. Fox

The Premise: It's a heist movie with stop-motion animals and Wes Anderson aesthetics! Prepare to squeal with glee or vomit uncontrollably!



First Reaction: I think I would like this more if the animation wasn't so creepy. Or maybe if the animals spoke in German and the movie was subtitled.

Second Look: I'm just hoping that the movie is funny and clever enough to make up for its smugness. I'm a big Wes Anderson fan from way back, but even as a defender Life Aquatic felt overbearing and Darjeeling felt unfinished. I want the real deal, Rushmore, Tenenbaums, Bottle Rocket, something that feels full, touching and complete. This seems to be a move in the opposite direction for Anderson, that scary George Lucas-y direction. Once Wes Anderson converts all real actors into his paper-mache living dolls he'll be able to release Rushmore: Special Edition like he's always wanted, secretly all along! (Note: Jason Schwartzman's character was originally supposed to be played by a Wookiee.)


The Film: Where the Wild Things Are

The Premise: Some spoiled little bastard goes to magic land because he wouldn't eat his vegetables and take it like a man!



First Reaction: ...sob...so beautiful...

Second Look: I'm a really big fan of Spike Jonze and I think this stands to be a new classic if he handles it properly. Early buzz is that the movie is a lot darker than the studio was expecting, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Jonze has a twisted but honest perspective on humanity, and I think it could masterfully come to light here.


The Film: Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea

The Premise: Japan. Enough said.



First Reaction: I think Racer X is secretly Speed's brother.

Second Look: Miyazaki has a way of creating strangely compelling animated features. This looks like a trippier version of Spirited Away and I am okay with that. In fact, I think this might be playing at the Grove, so hopefully by the next time I write an entry, I'll have the full review for you.

Movie Review: District 9

It's taken me a long time to wrap my head around my own reactions to District 9. That's not to say that this movie is needlessly complicated in terms of plot, story or satire. In fact, it's rather straight-forward. But District 9 is a total anomaly in the Hollywood structure. How else can you describe a film with no celebrity actors that starts as a sci-fi pseudo-documentary and ends as an action shoot-em-up? If Children of Men made a baby with Flight of the Navigator you might find something similar to D9, but you might as well count on your 1,000 monkeys and typewriters script-writing scheme for better results. I was blown away by District 9. The special-effects, the creature and weapon designs, the not-so-subtle commentary on human nature, the moronic anti-hero, his reasonable yet grotesque alien sidekick, they all conspired to create one of the most creative motion pictures ever conceived. No summer movie since Spielberg's Jaws or Jurassic Park has managed to captivate me so constantly while leaving me completely baffled as to what was going to happen next.

To clue you in, the basic premise of D9 is that twenty years ago an alien craft settled above the city of Johannesburg, South Africa. The aliens- prawn-like creatures, some adorable, some horrifying- cannot fix their spacecraft and are forced to migrate to Earth. The South African government builds the aliens a temporary living space, a slum, and the aliens become immediate social pariahs. All native South Africans are united in their xenophobia toward the creatures. To alleviate the rioting and illegal profiteering on both sides of this conflict the government decides to evict the aliens from the slum and transplant them to a new "safer" environment. The aliens fight back. They do not want to move.

The man leading the government's efforts to suppress and torture the aliens in District 9 is Wikus van der Merwe (yeah, try saying that with a mouthful of peanut butter). He's a foolish and overconfident man, but compelling in a strange way. It's almost like watching Ricky Gervais' David Brent dealing with an alien invasion. He's totally unqualified to be in this position, but he makes up for it with sheer enthusiasm. When you see him burn down a building, he'll bear a sickeningly sweet smile as he describes the little "pop-pop" sound it makes.

I don't want to give away too much of the plot of this movie, because half the fun of D9 is the insane pace at which unpredictable events occur, throwing you into unbelievable situations at the drop of a hat, showing you things that have never been done this well on film before. The real story behind D9 is Neill Blomkamp, the writer/director formerly slated to helm the video-game mega-blockbuster Halo. When Halo cracked because of bickering studio mumbo-jumbo, big-time producer Peter Jackson decided to let Blomkamp do a pet project utilizing Jackson's extensive Lord of the Rings effects experts. The result is a movie that probably should have been released earlier in the summer, because it would have been nice to see a real science-fiction blockbuster take down an ugly red-headed stepsister like Revenge of the Fallen.

District 9 is not the greatest story ever told, nor is it the finest film ever conceived. But for a first time feature for this up and coming filmmaker, I think it's a movie to see this weekend, even if it means seeing two movies. My recommendation? See District 9 twice, QT will be in theaters til October. (Just kidding, you Basterds.)

Grade: A+ (for arm-ripping)